I hestitantly joined this online Mommy group that meets for playdates a couple times a week. I say "hesitantly" because I have never been a proponent of meeting friends online. Also because I have never really gotten along with other girls but that is another story. I joined one back in Utah when Elizabeth was about 6 months old and decided that it was a huge mistake. The women there were nice, but oh so desperate. I was bombarded with questions about breastfeeding and baby poop. The conversations were all so phony and scripted that I couldn't really get into it. It was like everyone there was socially retarded (including myself) that we couldn't really connect. One of the girls quickly grew attached to my friend, Courtney (who I dragged along). The girl sent me daily messages inquiring about Courtney and asking whether she would be attendig the next meeting. Needless to say, we were both thoroughly creeped out. I decided that I would somehow have to meet normal people in person.
A year passed and I still hadn't met any new friends.
When I signed up for the group here, I was pretty pessimistic but still decided to give it a shot. Maybe people here are more normal.
When I showed up at the first meeting only two other girls came. They were cool but not quite "my type" and no real connection was made. I skipped the next 5 or so meetings and decided to try again. The meeting acutally had a very large turnout and I ended up sitting next to some really cool girls. I actually had a refreshingly normal, genuine conversation.
I have come to realize how similar friend-finding is to dating. In a way it is nice being "single". You don't have the responsibilities of being the shoulder to cry on when your girlfriend isn't getting along with her boyfriend/husband. You don't have to talk her off the ledge when she feels fat. You don't have to spend at least 10 hours/week on the phone talking about which cosmetics do or do not make you break out. I know, the point that I am trying to make is that I can be a horrible friend. I have never liked having to call and check in with my girlfriends on a daily basis to make sure they aren't mad at me for one reason or another. It is hard work being a girlfriend.
You know what sucks even more? Being desperate. I have come to realize that if I don't start making friends, I am going to turn out like the desperate girls from the first mommy group back in Utah. I need to practice my social skillz on a regular basis so I don't turn into the weird clingy girl. I don't ever want to turn into that girl that threatens to slit her wrists unless her friend calls her back in 5 minutes. I guess this means I will have to be "emotionally available" from now on. Jeez!

I know, I know! I change the look of this blog more than you change your underwear! No worries, I think I am finally satisfied. Maybe. And you should probably change your underwear more often.

If you have a small child, you can't go wrong with these clips. Kids LOVE the muppets and I don't mind watching them either. She has been watching "Manamana" and Beaker's "Mimi" since she was about 4 months old and now sings along enthusiastically. Whenever she is sad, Beaker never fails to cheer her (and me) up. We just recently came across the Habanero video, which I think I enjoy more than she does.
Beaker's Mimi

Manamana

Muppet Show Intro

Habanero

Danny Boy

Opposites

I can handle the heat of Texas. I can handle the humidity. I can handle the traffic with the crazy drivers on their cell phones. I can handle the constant fear of a home invasion or car jacking, but I cannot handle these disgusting little bastards:

To my dismay, we have found three of them in our home thus far. As a result, I am in constant fear that I will be greeted by another at any given moment. It could be the next time I open the cupboard for a my toothbrush, it could be hiding in my shoe, it could be the next time I reach under the lampshade to turn on the light, it could be in the toilet bowl next time I use the bathroom. What if they are crawling on me or my child in our sleep? The paranoia is overwhelming!
My only consolation is that I know it won't be able to catch me if I run. I am aware that these things can fly, but have you seen them fly? They are not the most graceful creatures. The first two roaches I met tried to fly down the hallway, but kept hitting the wall. It flew as though it were trying to carry a large bucket of water but the weight of the bucket was shifting it every which direction. Since I am a huge fan of physical comedy, this pathetic attempt to fly really made my day. I'm always there to appreciate a good tumble down the stairs or football to the crotch.

Today is just one of those gloomy days. I usually love the rain so I don't think that has anything to do with it. It has been thundering like crazy, to the point where the house is trembling. I have always loved this weather.
I'm reminded of a time when I lived alone in Salt Lake at the top floor of a trendy apartment complex, downtown. Lightning was flashing so frequently, I don't think 3 seconds went by without a bolt jetting across the sky. I turned out all the lights and shoved my bed up against the wall under the window where I sat, watched, and listened. It was the ultimate light show and the surround sound was unbeatable. I stared in the direction of a giant crane that stood about 15 stores high, because I thought for sure it was going to get stuck. A giant bolt light up the sky behind the crane where I saw the outline of a man inside. It was like a horror movie. I worried about his safety but then remembered that my cousin (who worked for the construction company) warned me about one of the guys he worked with. He told me he likes to sit in the crane at night and peep into the windows of the surrounding apartments. The peeper was peeped! After making the connection, I sat there crossing my fingers that the pervert would get struck. It didn't happen, but from then on my shades were tightly drawn at dusk, which really sucked because I had a great view at night.
I had some great memories at that place. It was the only time in my life that I felt like an adult. Don't get me wrong, motherhood makes me feel very grown up but staying at home still leaves me with a feeling that I am being cared for. It is hard to go from being completely self sufficient-to relying on another human being for food and a roof overhead. I am very very lucky to be able to stay at home with my daughter but it definitely has its downs, such as: cabin fever, relying on the computer to fulfill social needs, failing at my domestic responsibilities because I am not domestic at all, feeling guilty everytime I buy something because my name wasn't on the paycheck, etc.
At the same time, I love that I actually know my daughter. I understand her language better than anyone else. She comes to me for comfort when she is sad or hurt. She looks at me with total trust in her eyes and I don't ever want to let her down. If that means waiting a couple years until she is in preschool before going back to work and furthering my own academic accomplishments, then so be it. Having children means making sacrifices and I believe kids are the ones that suffer when the parent believes that they can "have it all". Of course there are times when the parent doesn't have a choice about whether or not to stay home. All I'm saying is people need to at least acknowledge that their life is going to change with children, and usually it means putting the child's best interests first. It just really makes me mad when I see people pop out babies for the sake of popping out babies, then continue their lifes as though nothing changed, while their kid sits at daycare wondering who his parents are.
I have no idea where this rambling came from. This is what happens when I sit down in a bad mood and start typing but its always interesting for me to see where it goes:-)

Elizabeth and I went to CVS to get her passport photo taken. This was what we ended up with after 5 minutes of trying to get her to stand still and look at the camera:

It might as well look like this:

Why are there so many clowns and boobs on the Spanish channels? I mean, if I stop randomly on any Spanish channel, I WILL see at least 5 women with no purpose besides bobbing (I use the word bobbing because I don't think they are actually dancing) around in brightly colored lingerie in the background. I bet more people would watch Martha Stewart's show if she hired scantily clad women to nod approvingly and dance around. Of course the camera will have to zoom in on the boobs randomly and stay there for an uncomfortably long period of time. Of course Martha would have to wear a plaid beret and big red ball on her nose.
I think I should get out of the house.